i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
