Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Randomize
