K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
