Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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