NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
