its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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