You can't motorboat a personality
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
