Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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