we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sext me about skeletons
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
