Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
