Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
