i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
and you fell through a lawn chair
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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