we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
