Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Small penises have feelings too.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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