she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
