i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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