Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
