i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
