Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
