We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
