im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
