I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
