It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She's JV to your varsity
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
