Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
