North Korea, Best Korea!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
