he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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