She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She bit a glass in half.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
