best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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