so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
