Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
