After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
