We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I love having hate sex.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
