So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
FUCK WHALES
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
