3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
