Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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