I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
