All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
