At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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