Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
