question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
