Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
