I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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