rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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