I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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