you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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