Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
