Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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