Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
