i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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