We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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