She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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